But what about deepening the spiritual connection with our partners? It starts with a conversation, says Day. Sounds simple, but when was the last time you talked to your partner about sex? What you really like and what you don’t? For most people it never happens. “I’ve not met a single person who actually does that,” says Day. “The risk of offending is too big.” The best thing couples can do to open up sexually is to spend time exploring each other, says Durek. “Everyone has different pleasure zones, so play a game and touch them and ask them what feels good and make mental note of it. You’re learning about the other person and building on your spiritual journey.” And when you say what you don’t like as well as what you do, it is even more powerful. “There’s a vulnerability in saying it, which connects sex to the heart,” says Day, “and you can be more playful. You can try new things if your partner will confidently tell you what they like – and what they don’t.”
If you’ve only just met, you probably won’t want to dive in with a list of likes and dislikes, but an open flirtatious conversation will get things moving in the right direction, says Durek. Talking, he says, is the best way to rev up your sexual energy and get turned on because the throat chakra is connected to the sexual organs. And, while you’re getting down and spiritual, Durek suggests putting the connection to good use with a spot of “sex magic”. This is the tantric idea of setting intentions at the point of orgasm to manifest your heart’s desire.